This is a rant.
Some weeks ago I received this message from a young man that used to work as a mover at my former place of work.

"Hi, is me Monday. Incase you nid a husband I am fully ready to marry u, or u no a lady dat nids a husband, pls send her my number. Thank you".

My first reaction was shock, then a state of being upset, then anger, then shock again. Because we are/were not cool like that. Because it was late at night, 9:32pm for Christs sake!!
So what is really bringing that leg? Why will an unemployed man that spells need as nid think we have a future together? Why will a man who has no self respect enough to spell his name starting with capital letter think we have a foreseeable future? How are you unemployed and the only tbing on your mind is how to loose a woman from her shackles of singledom? ask again what actually brought that leg?

Did this negro really try it? Yes he did.

Few weeks after this situation , I started noticing some young men just sitting at my busstop and they were always catcalling me (I think they do that for every thing in skirt that passes.
Its the usual 'heyss fine girl', 'You no go answer me'.
After going through this for 3 days I was visibly irritated, because it doesnt make sense that you scream 'Hey sexy' to every woman that passes everyday. There has to be some form of ambition you have, this can't be all really, or is it?

Seeing that I was unflattered and uninterested, these ones started shouting, 'See as she dey carry face, she no even happy say man dey look am', 'Why you no marry yourself?'

At this stage, I am visibly in shock. These ones must be drunk on something, male entitlement perhaps? Can I have a sip? It feels like that is the way ahead in this life.

Because that is the only reason why a man who is nowhere on my level (I said what I said) sent me a marriage proposal via text and why touts with no ambition think I should be excited that they glanced at me.

For some reason men think all they get to bring to the table is the thing between their legs and we are good to go, forgetting that an entire industry has been built to boycott them (Hi, Ann Summers).

I think religious organizations and Tyler Perry should take this L for the monsters they have emboldened. With messages talking about 'How a woman is nothing without a man because she can't turn on her generator by herself by 7pm' to organising prayer meetings to break the curse of singledom in your family lineage to pastors acting like humility belongs to a particular gender. I could go on and on. Women do not need your saving, they don't need to be saved. They will be fine with or without a man.

But I feel that is the only reason why a man who was constantly badgering me to get him a job has the nerves to think he was doing me a favour because the Nigerian woman is nothing without a man even if he is a joke. Any man will do init?
Well, I am uninterested.

See my grieviance, I see men I like who may be not see me as a romantic partner for reasons best known to them which may include social class disparity and that is okay. I just ask myself, what do I do to get to that level? That is me respecting myself.
But no, a man that still sags wants to come and stain my white. The nerve. How dare you?
Please maintain your lane with the devil, not today.

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