NURSE ELIZA

For the past few weeks, I have found reason to visit the school health centre and its one trip I dread mainly because of the unfriendly nurses there. What is with nurses and inhospitality? I can’t remember meeting an excited nurse: does it boil down to lack of passion? I can understand if it’s just one person, but in every hospital there is one irritated nurse who is ready to talk to any patient anyhow. Or is it a case of having authority or power.Last week, I took a friend to the health centre and seeing she was weak, I felt the responsible thing to do was help in filling out her form and letting the nurse know her condition as she was quite busy (who send me ?). I filled out the form and I say, ‘Good morning ma, my friend is not feeling fine, this is her form’. See her retort, ’Ehen? What now happen? Did I talk to you?’.  In my head all I can think of is ‘Owu!!! Where did that come from? Why so angry? Are we sharing boyfren? Even if we are, e never reach’.

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In 100 level during one of the holidays I fell sick and I was throwing up badly, nothing seemed to stay in my tummy. There was a particular time I felt like throwing up and there was no one around to help me get to the bathroom, so I carried myself at snail speed and went to the toilet. I was close to the toilet bowl but nooo!! Ifeoma decided to throw up everywhere except in the toilet bowl. After this display of foolishness, I went to the room laid down and my mom walks in and she goes to the bathroom and she sees my vomit and it messes with her sanity, she loses her cool and she has her first IN YAAAAAAAA LIFE moment. She says, ‘ Ifeoma, in your life don’t ever throw up in my bathroom, what kind of nonsense is this?

Even my mom is not excluded from all these care giving matter..                                                   

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In 200 level, I had tooth ache. It was the most painful experience ever. I was throwing up ( me and throwing up sha), I lost weight. My gum was swollen. My dad decided that we will go to LASUTH the next day. The next day we set out early in the morning, on getting there the place was packed with sick people, all of them nervous, their eyes filled with so much pain.. The nurses at the reception started giving out numbers then they started calling out the numbers

Nurse: number 24!!!!!!!!!! You are next o!!!

Patient: ( No answer)

Nurse: number 24, I say you are next!!!!

Patient: ( an elderly man) yes I am here.

Nurse: Una no go gree answer, I don dey shout here since u no answer. Na una know sef.

Ahan, for the love of sugar and all things sweet, the man was an elderly person, what if he had a hearing problem?

After all these drama, it’s my turn to see the doctor, he is quite friendly: He says, ‘Ifeoma, your dentition is quite bad and you are a pretty girl. How did you teeth get this bad? Oya, take your form to this room'.

I give the form to the receptionist in the next room and when it’s my turn the matron comes out and announces, ‘ WHO IS IFEOMA NWAWE?’. I raise my hand like a child in trouble and say, ‘me’. She starts shouting on the top of her voice, 'why is your teeth this bad? So many holes, you need to fill almost everything, you have to take some out!!

All this while and I am still in pain, I just want this to be over. She still continues, ‘Does your father work in Cadbury?’.I was about to tell her no. Then she still continues, ‘Even if he does you have no right to have a bad dentition!!! Oti o!! Don’t you know a woman’s beauty is in her smile? If they take out all your teeth how will you smile, ehn?’I can take it any more and I start crying, is her job not meant to make this thing easier? At that time her job was to make sure I never came back there again.

PS: The doctor who took out my teeth was vicious, he performed that operation with the anger of someone performing an abortion, he was squeezing his face and gritting his teeth..                                       

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I want you guys to share your sick experiences involving you, your family and friends…

Today is my bestest friend Layo Abe's birthday!!! She is best friend any one can have.. Happy birthday, luv.. I love you to the moon and back.  :* 

Don't forget to tell a friend to tell another friend about this space. You hear me?Have a great weekend ahead…                                                                           

                                                                                      XOXO, 

                                                                                      Ifeoma N.