SURVIVING NYSC ORIENTATION CAMP

by 18:30
I didn’t announce before leaving but I got posted to Imo state for the compulsory one year service to my country. My whole family was happy, afterall it wasn't the north.
Everyone told me how camp was fun!! My morale was high!  I got to umudi camp, nkwerre local government and the smile on my face was wiped off!! I wanted to leave the minute I stepped in.
Below are the ways I can think, will make camp bearable :
1. Let your expectations be low: What i really mean is hope for the worst, expect the worst. Do you know my shock when I arrived camp and saw nursing mothers with their new born babies??Or when my friend woke me up by 3am to bath?! I tied my towel and I said, 'Oya wey the bathroom?!' She said, 'Ifeoma, na outside you go baff. A part of me died there, I felt violated. Me, Ifeoma the daughter of Mr Nwawe is bathing outside, with boys passing by and shining torchlight!! I didn't spend 5 years in school for this foolishness.
2. Don't go with cross country : I know it's already late bgy now. Those people ooze unprofessionalism, the annoying part is that you can't smell it until you are too close.. I arrived camp by 11:30pm, now you get my point.
3. Unleash the gangster/tout  in you:
To be frank, NYSC is not for calm people especially during the registration period. The registration is for 'awon ota'. You know Nigerians and their hatred for due process. If your fake close up smile won't grant you access in the registration hall, you might as well just push. Or better still take your time, afterall you have 21 days to spend there.
4. Forgive them for they know not what they do : People will piss you off, I promise!! It could either be by virtue of what they say or even how they reason. Please don't take offense. People with different schools of thoughts and funny modes of reasoning. Ignore them, if laughing is difficult.
5. The married people :Am I the only one who thinks, most married persons who partake in the nysc scheme can be very annoying and bossy?!
I be like:So because of that gold thing on your hand, I no go hear word abi?!  Ngwanu, continue..
The part that pisses me off is when they feel the need to pray for you the minute they know you have not started planning your wedding. Biko, did I beg you?!  if I want husband, won't I ask God?!  what is my mouth now for??
6. The local champions : You see this people when you are selecting platoon leaders. They won't let you rest, they are everywhere like evil spirits. Ehn, I was the head coach in my department at school, I even followed Nigeria to the Olympics last year. Or. I was social prefect in my secondary school, vote me for head of socials. After you vote them, they are not available when needed and perform poorly. Sigh.
7. Soldiers:The soldiers in my camp were wonderful!!  I am not saying this because my camp commandant was cute!! *covers face *.But they were really funny. Let me announce on this platform that soldiers can't influence your posting, they are not in the administative arm of Nysc, so don't go and start opening body for them.
8. Carry your own money :Chances are you won't like the meals served in the kitchen. It's not like maami market is any better. Just know it could have been worse. Buy your things yourself. People have a warped sense of reasoning. Nothing goes for free.
9. Carry your toiletries and stationery :Things might be unnecessarily pricey.
10. Make friends : I made some incredible friends during the camp period.. I hope you do too..
11. If participating in activities will make the 21 days easy to bear, then do so.
12. Join a religious group :Its very possible to get lost in camp, it's important that you maintain a spiritual connection with God. NYSC can be all shades of frustrating, you will need to stick with God to keep you going. Not only do you need them for spiritual growth, you will need them after passing out parade as many of them make transportation arrangements for corp members to their place of assignment.
I wish you all the best in your various camps. Have a wonderful service year. :-*
I would have loved to upload some pictures but network dey one kain.
                        Love,
                Ifeoma N.

THANKSGIVING SERVICE

by 15:42
We had a thanksgiving service to thank God for His faithfulness for the past 5 years and also for a convocation ceremony. Its not Iike a few hours is enough to return the gIory to God. In Pastor Ojeme's sermon he said we must understand that thanksgiving was a debt we owed God. He said we whatever good we saw in our lives was because of God and that it could have been worse .
Please if i took any picture on your device, please be nice and tag me, no hoarding of pictures!!
The pictures were aIot!! It was close to a thousand if not more, enjoy!!
See the pictures below;

ifeoma, banke and dumebi

REASONS WHY I WOULD MISS CU

by 14:43

Iayo and I
Everyone bitches about CU, about how life is stressful and unbearable. To be frank i had gotten used to it, at least that's what I teII my self.
I spent a month between May and June and I missed the environment.
There is so much about CU that I wiII miss, but these rank tops.
NEPA: The light condition at home is unpalatable.In school I slept and woke up with  light, i never had to be bothered a;bout ironing my clothes for the next day.
Wifi : Internet access just makes things easier. In school I used to Skype my next door room mate if I needed something. There was no need for unnecessary interaction and the irritation associated with it. I even used to listen to on line radio. Now all I am bothered about is data usage.. How does one survive? We downloaded weekly episodes of scandal. Modern family, glee, two broke girls, etc. Now I have to wait till I get to an office environment and ask the staff there for their network password. How the mighty has fallen.

ONE RANDOM DAY

by 17:30
On Wednesday, I took a bus from Alpha Beach going to Obalende. It wasn’t my best choice for a bus as the vehicle contained just one passenger, I was going to be the second passenger but I just wanted to leave on time. Growing up, if we were going to enter a bus my mum told us to enter one that was filled with passengers, she said it was always safer.
As we moved from one bus stop to another passengers started filling the bus and I was less skeptical.
We got to Jakande and our driver parked wrongly and from nowhere these uniformed men in blue and black

CONVOCATION BANTS

by 08:39



I am blessed to have petite sisters and stylish ones at that. When people ask me where I get most of my dresses I am quick to say, ‘one of my sisters’. It was yesterday I realized how lucky I was to have their hand me downs.
I went to Lekki 1 to check Grey Velvet but nothing was happening there. I went to another shop there and I saw this nice grey lace dress, it fit like a glove, I was in love!!! I decided to check the price tag of the dress, I saw 21k. I hated the dress, I termed it ugly immediately. I felt a slight headache. I swallowed Panadol.

MUCH ADO ABOUT PET NAMES

by 11:46

Growing up we all had pet names that our loved ones called us, we didn't always like it. Most times these pet names had a story. Mine was ‘Oma’ meaning good, I didn't know the story behind the name but it stuck. My baby sister’s name was ‘Ochonma’ meaning ‘the one who looked for good’, it meant she liked Shakara, she hated it for a while.
Most of these pet names were suffixed with ‘listic’,’ sco’ or ‘fire’ .
In secondary school, people had nicknames, mine was ‘oneway’. It was the easier way to pronounce my surname ‘Nwawe’. My baby sis adopted it when she joined me.
In the university, you meet your first boyfriend and your feel the need to give him a name to mark territory (whatever that means), it’s at this point, everyone acts cute. You hear names like ‘boo’, ’baby’, ‘sugar’, etc..
Then you get married and become more traditional, you go with ‘darling’,’ dear’, and ‘my heart’.

But the issue is that people go overboard with these names, a relative of mine  calls her husband MY LORD. Way to raise the bar. Which one is my lord, your house na court?
I personally think much of these pet names. But what do I know? So what was your pet name growing up and what ridiculous one do you have in mind for your partner. Let me know..
P.S:If you have products you want to showcase on-line, send a mail to Rita at   rita@hostsleek.com or ritaelohor1@yahoo.com
                                                                                                 Xoxo,
                                                                                                 Ifeoma N.

THE MAIN CHIC VS THE SIDE CHIC

by 08:19

The Ultimate side chic
After Boko Haram and Chibok one of the headlines that make me sick is abuse in its variety and it comes in different forms (spouse to spouse, side chick to main chick, main chic to side chic 
The headlines keep changing everyday.
  • Tchidi Chikere's ex-wife still respects and loves him, even though he cheated on her, she says Nuella Njubigbo is the devil behind the failure of her marriage.
  • 14 year old girl beats friend up for smiling at her boyfriend.
  • 15 year old slices neighbours ear for waving at her 'boyfriend', man says he has never seen the two girls.
  • Wife pours acid on husband's girlfriend, she adds pepper to her vagina!!!
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